Easter

Last night the girls set out their Easter baskets at the bottom of their beds. When we went to check on them they were both sleeping on the floor. Perhaps they thought they'd catch the Easter Bunny. Evelyn woke up first, saw her basket filled with candy and little toys and said, "It's Easter day, wake up Rowan! The bunny! The bunny was here!"

Almost every morning this week either Evelyn or Rowan has asked me if it was Easter morning. They've been anticipating the Easter Bunny, singing songs about him, and talking about the candy they believed they'd get. I tried to add practical things to their baskets too since they're too young to not think of everything as a gift. So they got new swimsuits and panties as well.

We sat on their bedroom floor with them, trying to prevent them from stuffing chocolate with the aluminum wrapper in their mouths, and opening various toys.

This is what I wanted for them and I wanted them to have memories of Easter being a fun time with their family. I remember being a child and waking up with my sister to find our Easter baskets waiting for us. Easter was always a beautiful time in our lives.

I believe that it is really important for them to grow up with joy in their hearts. To know how to play and laugh and have fun. Their lives will not always be perfect; everyone has hard times. But if they have a foundation of happiness then I think it will be easier for them to find it as adults. Maybe they'll know what to look for. Or maybe how to create happiness for themselves. And its great for us too. Sharing such fun times with them is my happiness.

After baskets the girls got ready and put on their new Easter dresses. They love wearing anything big and poofy and girly.

We had time to talk to family members on the phone and through Skype before I took the girls to church for Easter service. To be honest, we're not regular church goers. I think this became apparent when everyone closed their eyes for a prayer and Evelyn said, "they go night-night?" "No honey, they're not sleeping, they're praying."

But I do enjoy church on Easter. It struck me how Easter is one of those times in which you can pretty much guarantee what the sermon is going to be about. The minister will talk about the resurrection and work in a sort of "life renewing" kind of theme. And it occurred to me how difficult it must be to have to speak about the same subject every year and yet somehow make it slightly different than last year, but not too different. Easter is definitely not the day for exploring some obscure part of the bible.

The girls wanted to sit in the main church, but after they felt the need to dance and twirl during the first song, I thought it might be best to take them to Sunday school.

Unfortunately, Andre had to work, so we sort of had two Easters. We decorated eggs, cracked cascarones (confetti eggs) and broke a pinata on Saturday. Then today we did it all over again at my sister's house. The girls each had their own pinata and I bought 100 confetti eggs, so that worked out well.

We were also able to swim in the pool for the first time this year. I am really looking forward to the girls taking swimming lessons. I think they are going to really love it.

For some reason, Easter dinner with my family always means ham. You know, the little chicks, the lambs, the rabbits, they're all appreciated over the holiday--but the pig?...oh no, poor little piggy he's sitting on the table. It seems unfair. Yummy, but unfair.

So, that was Easter this year.





This is not Easter, but it was a more entertaining video than kids hitting a pinata. This video is from last weekend when we went to the local zoo.

Rowan and Evelyn feeding goats from Leigh on Vimeo.

More Blog Security

I utilized a security feature of the blog so that it was no longer public. I tried to invite people who I either know read the blog or may want to. If anyone hears I missed someone or knows someone who wants to read it, then just let me know.

Thanks

Happy Birthday: Babies turning 3

We celebrated the girls third birthday this Sunday. It was the first birthday that they were able to make some of the decisions--shall we say, it was their first party-planning experience. They chose the ever popular, "My Little Pony Theme," and went with a guest list of fellow classmates. Their colors were pink and purple (of course they were). Evelyn decided on a confetti birthday cake (white with sprinkles), while Rowan (reluctantly) decided on strawberry flavored. They both wanted to wear matching Hello Kitty pink tutu dresses for their party.

Of course the most important decision is always location. The twins agreed that the party should take place at "Hoppin' House," their favorite inflatable playground. So for the past three months anytime we went to Hoppin' House they reminded us that their birthday should take place there.

It was fun watching the girls with some of their little friends. Mary, from across the street, came too. She and Evelyn are pretty good friends. Here is a picture of the two of them together. Evelyn can't say, "Mary," so she calls her "Mitsy" instead. Rowan likes Mary and will play with her, but Evelyn adores her. She'll throw a big fit if she sees Mary playing outside and we won't let her go out and play too. They are just about the same age. I think the girls are a few months older, but not by much. Mary has an older brother named Jack who also came to the party. They're both great kids.

We invited all the kids in their class, because you can't invite some kids and not invite all of the kids. Unfortunately none of the classmates RSVP'd so we had no idea how many kids were coming and since it was at a location and not our house we couldn't invite very many other kids. A few of their really good friends from school came though and they had a great time playing together.

For their presents from us, the girls both got new bicycles. Their first "real bikes." The little kid bikes nowadays are really cute. Evelyn's has a little miniature seat in the back to put a doll or stuffed animal. Rowan's has a basket and bell. We let the girls pick them out themselves.

Apparently, I had some misconceptions about teaching a child to ride a bike. You always see the stereotypical scene of a parent running with the kid and then triumphantly letting go as the kid sails down the street. They fail to show that leading up to that is a lot of bending over, back breaking, as you try to show the child to "peddle, peddle, peddle." Ugh, parenting is so bad for the back and there's just no easy way around it.

Nevertheless, the girls seem to have it down now and can consistently peddle--mostly without any help. They even managed to purposefully run into each other a few times. They also had their first race. They've come a long way since the days when we would put them on the floor and see who could crawl faster. The baby races...ah, those were good days too.


Its so much fun to see each new step. As I was watching Rowan take off on her bike I couldn't help but think about her learning to stand. She was so determined. She would push up and then keep trying over and over again. Then one day she was standing just like nothing. Then she was walking, then running. Now she can skip and hop and jump and twirl. Each new stage is such a big accomplishment. As the parent, you see them pushing themselves to do it and you think, "come on kid, you can do it," and you hope that you're right. Then they do and they are on to the next step. Today it's a bike, tomorrow a car.

Rowan almost 3

Rowan is almost three now, but if you ask her she'll tell you that she's turning four.

She is a funny child and constantly has us laughing. She makes little jokes that are so funny and then she laughs hysterically at her own joke. She likes to knock on the door and say, "little pig, little pig, let me in," and I'll tell her, "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin." So she starts trying to blow down the door. Sometimes she wants to be the little pig and she'll tell me to play "big bad wolf" with her.

She has still maintained her love of animals. Tonight she said, "Ro ro will be a doctor for animals and Evey will be a doctor for people." Evelyn then said, "yeah, I'll give them shots." Rowan will always choose to carry around a stuffed animal rather than a doll. Her "favorite" varies day to day. She also loves cats, which she calls "meows," and has been asking me to get her one.

She's a smart girl. She likes to read, to sing songs, and to color. Speaking wise, the girls still have a baby-ness to their speech. I have heard them speaking to each other in a sort of odd twin language and I think they are actually dropping the consonants of the words. It sounds like gibberish, but they are talking back and forth so fluidly that it must make sense to them. Yet, when we read stories at night I've had both of them repeat words and read along with me, and then they sound much clearer. So perhaps they will grow out of it.

Rowan is tall too. She has long legs and can wear a size 4 in some clothes and her feet are a full size larger than Evelyn's. Although, she seems about the same size as her friends at school.

When she was born, she was so strong physically that we believed she would turn out to be the roller derby girl or the tomboy out of the two. Oh, were we wrong. Rowan is sensitive and sweet. She gets scared easily and she's cautious at times. Evelyn will get into a bad mood and say, "I don't like Rowan," and it always makes Rowan cry. I can't recall ever hearing Rowan say that. Evelyn doesn't mean it, she can just be ornery at times. The girls are both very bonded to each other.

Rowan loves to wear dresses, and anything pink and fluffy. Thanks to the girls, I now know that tutus go with anything for any occasion, fancy dresses are for any time, and tiaras, bows, and other accessories should be not be worn in moderation. Our home is filled with pink and purple. Disney princess is on every item from the toothpaste in the bathroom, to the band-aids on their boo boos. Rowan's favorite princess is Snow White and so if she has an option for which princess, then it simply must be Snow White.

Rowan is still our night owl. She doesn't like to go to bed at night or wake up early in the morning. Sometimes she'll wake up in the middle of the night and cry and we'll let her sleep in our bed the rest of the night. Last night was just such an evening and this morning Rowan said she went wahh, wahh (a cry) last night and got to sleep in mommy's bed--like it was all planned out. Andre said we'd been duped, but I don't care. She's nice to cuddle up next to.

She really adores Andre too. She misses him so much when he's gone and she'll ask me, "where my daddy go?" I'll say, "he's at work." If she is sick or unhappy then he's the one she wants to comfort her. She says that she belongs to Daddy, but I think he belongs to her as well. She is a daddy's girl.

Rowan is a beautiful child. I love her so much.

The holidays

Today marked a new stage for the girls and for us. This afternoon we all went to the movies! I haven't sat in a real theater with the girls since they were small enough to sleep the whole way through.

I have to admit, I was a bit hesitant. Is 2 1/2 really old enough to sit through an entire movie? Will they start talking? Want to run around? Annoy other people? All of these worries...and for nothing. They were great.

We took them to see Tangled, the new Disney Rapunzel film. I'm normally opposed to the way Disney changes the original story. I'm probably one of the few people who think The Little Mermaid should have followed Hans Christian Anderson's version right down to her little mermaid death at the end. Yet I really liked Tangled. I found it more interesting than the original story without losing the fairytale quality.

The girls seemed so grown up today. I know, I know, they're still only 2; but there is something that is very untoddler-like about your child sitting quietly except for the occasional whisper of "more popcorn."

Now, let me tell you about Christmas this year. Christmas, as you can imagine, was a great success. Rowan woke up at 7:30 and crawled into bed with us. As soon as she figured out it was Christmas morning...aka, day of toys, her next thought was, 'Evey needs to wake up.'

Once everyone was up, we all went downstairs. Christmas is so incredible with children. Their excitement is overflowing. They love each toy so fully, so completely, and then it's onto the next gift to unwrap. Green and red paper littered the floor.

Evelyn loved her doll the most. Her "baby." She doesn't have a name, just "baby." I thought she would replace the old doll with this new one, but instead she just carries them both around with her. She looks like me carrying the twins when they were babies, one under each arm.

Rowan's favorite gift has been a barbie "Belle" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast and a plastic horse that came with her. Evelyn got a plastic horse at the circus, and so now Rowan has one too. She still seems more connected to animals, whereas Evelyn is to people.

They also loved these little key chain flashlights I put in their stockings. They were given to me from a local business, you know just business swag with the company name. Both girls thought they were the most awesome toys. Evelyn has been inspecting everything in the house with those little flashlights. She's a little detective.

A friend of mine was commenting on her children this time of year and said that Christmas magic takes a lot of work. There's some truth in that. I had some old home movies converted into DVD format recently and among them was "Christmas 1979." Its just this grainy Super 8 film without any sound and only about 10 minutes long, but I realized that is my idea of what Christmas should be and certainly what my childhood Christmases were. It is the gold standard. Laura and I opening gifts at my grandparents. The handmade stockings hung on the mantle. My aunts and uncles coming over. My grandparents were youthful and healthy. Everything was there just as I remembered it to be. Even their old collie waging her tail by the door.

It is kind of sad that that time is gone now. As a child you think that every year will be as every year has always been, but it isn't so. Little bit, by little bit, it all changes until nothing is the way it once was.

Most adults know this. The impermanence of all things. They give "thanks" because good times are not sure things. And they realize the work that goes into Christmas magic for little children. I hope the girls will look back on these times with fond memories and I hope that as the times change we will remember how beautiful it was when they were small enough to wake up on Christmas morning in our home and open toys and dolls and other childhood things while we drank coffee and laughed.

Santa

Rowan and Evelyn are really into everything Santa this year. Every Santa image is quickly pointed out and identified as their item of interest. "Look, Santa!" they'll say. They know all about Santa too. You can even ask Rowan, "What does Santa say?" And she'll answer in her deepest voice, "Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas little Ro Ro and Evey."

One afternoon, when Rowan was particularly interested in Santa, I asked her:
"Do you like Santa?"
"Oh yes," she said.
"And does Santa bring you presents."
"Yes."
"Do you want to see Santa."
"Yes."
"Are you going to sit on his lap and tell him what to bring you for Christmas?"
"No! he scares me!"

Ha, it was so funny that something she is so incredibly intrigued and in awe of, also scares her. Which I think is to be expected with all young children. I mean, afterall, why should they think its okay to sit on some strangers lap and ask for presents?

Evelyn is the same way. We took them to the Firefighter Union Hall for the annual Santa with kids. This Santa we know, but to the kids: he's Santa and he's in full costume. Well, Evelyn mustered up enough courage to stand at a distance and say, "May I please have a doll." Although, coming from a two year old its not quite that clear. I think her actual words were, "May I. Please. Doll." It was very cute.

Baby Sweetness

The girls have been so sweet lately. Yesterday morning Evelyn crawled into bed with us, Rowan was sleeping snuggled between Andre and myself, having crawled into our bed sometime during the night. Evelyn looked at her and said, "I love my Ro-Ro," then she gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek.

They've been talking a lot more too. Using full, coherent sentences. While looking through the Pottery Barn catalog the other day, Rowan pointed to a picture of a little girl with curly hair and said, "That look like eww, Evey." She was right, it did look just like Evey.


They have their own opinions too--about everything. For Halloween this year, Rowan picked out an Elmo costume to wear. We took the girls trick or treating and when the homeowner opened the door, Rowan would proudly say, "I'm Elmo."

Evelyn decided she wanted to be a pink Pegasus/unicorn. She picked the costume out of a magazine and we ordered the last one in the largest size available. It was adorable, but too small. Her Mimi (grandmother) deconstructed it and made a new pink bodysuit. She was very cute. Unfortunately, it was hard to see the top of the head of the unicorn and so people continually commented that she was a very cute "fying pig."




Of course in our family, one costume is never enough. So the girls also had Disney princess costumes. Rowan picked Snow White--her favorite character who she calls, "High Ho." And Evelyn picked Cinderella--her favorite who she calls "Princess." Its amazing how much more detailed costumes are nowadays compared to what they looked like when I was a kid. The girls Disney princess dresses were beautiful. Granted, we'll never be able to get all the glitter out of the house, but they are beautiful.





Interest-wise, Evelyn still appears to be most drawn to music. My dear friend, Janet, gave us her piano that I remembered playing as a child. Evelyn will sit at the piano and her playing around actually sounds melodic. She can keep a beat too.




Rowan's love is animals. She feeds the dogs, plays with them, orders them around, and on several occasions I have found our new dog, Murphy, sleeping at the end of her bed. Oh and "Daddy." Rowan is a total Daddy's Girl. She'll say, "Evey belongs to Mommy and Ro Ro belongs to Daddy."

The Beach

I remember the first time I went to the beach. I was eleven. I wanted to run out into the waves like a movie star. The sand and the waves got in the way and I ended up fumbling my way to the water.

I would spend the next 5 years in a beach town and return again in my late teens. Long enough to create many new memories of the beach. It is a place that is different at different times in your life. Now, I sit on the beach and I listen to the soothing sound of the waves crashing and I feel the breeze blow. I tell myself to let go of all my stress and worries and relax for a change. I watch my babies play in the sand.

The beach wasn't always this way. There was time it was quite the party place. I remember cars lined all the way down and all the pretty girls walked slowly down the beach talking to the surfer boys and drinking whatever mixed concoction they had with them. I miss the ability to wear those swim suits, but that's about it. There is a time and place for everything.

The babies loved the beach. They ran into the water and then back onto the shore, laughing and screaming. Rowan would spot a group of sea gulls and walk ever so slowly up to them until she got really close and then she'd run and scream and they'd all fly away at once.


The beach wasn't the only bit of fun we had. Andre's mom is in town from Bolivia. The girls ran to her as if no time had passed. I tell you, they can spot a person ready to spoil them. Truly, they adore their Abuelita.

We were also able to celebrate Ivette, Isabella, and Little Austin's birthday. Isabella and Austin have grown so fast its amazing. They are wonderful children and are becoming more beautiful and sweet every year.

Ivette is doing really great too. She has inspired me to work out. Unfortunately, it only lasted one trip to the gym. Perhaps Thanksgiving will refresh my resolve to get in shape. Ivette and Austin are always fun to be around. We stayed up late laughing and talking. We even saw Moon too.

The Twins 1st Camping Trip

I grew up knowing that the land would one day belong to me. This huge stretch of wilderness. I remember hunting for arrowheads as a kid there. The Keechi Indians left a fair share behind. I remember the old windmill and the well that never went dry.

My grandmother told my father he should buy it. "Land--God isn't making any more of it," she would say. So he did. The best investment he ever made. They lived on some land nearby a long time ago. He inherited the other part from my grandfather. I heard a story that my grandmother had acquired some land through adverse possession; although I'm not sure which land that is.

I try to picture Old Juantia (as my dad would call her) boiling a pot of water to wash clothes out there. "She thought the washing machine was the greatest invention in the history of mankind," my dad said. The house they lived in is just a chimney now. I try to imagine her living there with her kids. No wonder she was such a tough woman.

"The land," was always a source of conversation for my dad and I. "Have you been out to the land?" "How's the land doing?" Along with various tales of wild animals, mineral leases, hunters, and other land-related topics. When I told him I'd never sell it and would leave it to my children, his eyes filled up with tears and he hugged me and said how much he loved me. I meant it too. I love it as much as he did.

So it was with great joy that we took the girls on their first camping experience to the land. There are two parcels roughly the same size. One will belong to Rowan. It is Rowan's Ranch. The other will be Evelyn's Ranch.

Rowan was so excited. She kept repeating, "Ro-ro's Ranch." Then turning to Evelyn and saying, "Evey, No. Ro-ro's." We'd say, yes, but Evelyn has a ranch too.

Rowan's is really beautiful. At night we could hear the coyote's hallowing. At one point they seemed a little too close. All through the night I kept waking up thinking I could hear some animal right outside the tent. Was it a wild pig? A coyote? Maybe a bobcat? No one else stirred, even our dog who slept a little too soundly.

The stars were amazing out there. You could see the Milky Way so clearly. I had forgotten how brilliant they are.

The next day we drove to my father's grave. I miss him so much. I kept thinking how I'd like to tell him that we camped on the land with the girls. How I heard a pack of coyotes. How Rowan was saying its her's with such pride.

The Girls

Andre took this great picture of the girls tonight. We went out for dinner. The girls played outside on the playset and we listened to two guys playing guitar. It was a great night and the first somewhat cool night. Or rather it was the first less than blistering hot night, a pleasant 80 degrees.

They look so big in this picture with their long legs. They're almost 2 1/2 now.

Spending Time

This is me as a kid.

Replace the cocker spaniel puppies with twin girls and this is me as a mom. They are infinitely cute and huggable. They are at a delightful age too. One in which you can smother them with kisses and they giggle and kiss you back and say things like, "i luv uuuu mommie."

In my professional life, I get to work with a lot of disgruntled teenagers (and quite a few disgruntled adults), so I'm well aware that one day the girls will be like so totally cool that like they can't exactly say "I love you mom" in front of their totally awesome friends because like that's not cool, you know.

And I know that time will pass by quickly. So you just make the most of it.

At the grocery store the other day I bought some play dough for the girls. Play dough is the most cost effective toy ever. It costs maybe $2 dollars and its an endless source of fun and creativity.

Of course the girls immediately wanted to make the giant play dough ball of mixed colors. I began to say, "don't mix the colors!" and I caught myself. "Don't mix the colors"? Why not? It costs two dollars. Play dough is not a special commodity in any economy, even ours. So instead I took out fun kitchen utensils and let them mash it through garlic presses and roll it with the rolling pin and tried to not think about how it was now all mixed together and...completely ruined.

I wonder what our time would be like if I didn't work, if I was home with them all day. I miss them when I'm working and admittedly I sometimes let them stay up past their bedtime because I'm not ready to say goodnight.

Yet, the time we do spend together is really full. Maybe it wouldn't be that way if I was home all the time. Maybe taking care of them would become work, a chore that had to be done. Being in toddler-land I'd soon forget the disgruntled teenagers I once worked with and everything would be Dora, and Blues Clues, and the Wiggles. Insanity would surely follow that lineup.

Maybe we have a good balance right now. They can be independent and play with new friends and learn new things, then come home to kisses and hugs and snuggles. And I can be reminded that it will all change too fast and appreciate the time we have.

Being sick is no fun

Evelyn had the worst weekend last week. It all began when she dropped the lid of our heavy furniture trunk onto her index finger. The nurse at the hospital told us it was a toddler rite of passage, but it was nevertheless frightening. Her little finger looked deformed and immediately began to swell. Oh and she cried like I've never heard her cry before.

We met Andre at the Children's Hospital where they x-rayed her and applied a tiny splint. Turned out not to be broken, just bruised and we still had time to make it to the circus. Yes, I know normal people would have gone home after that.

To be fair, the tickets were rather expensive and bought months and months in advance so that the girls could get really good seats. And they were good seats. If the tightrope walker had fallen we would have been hurt by the fall, they were that good. Plus, leaving the hospital, she seemed in good spirits.

She loved the opening show. Rowan was so excited she was dancing in Andre's lap. Never have you seen two more wide-eyed circus goers. It is the way the circus is suppose to be watched: full of wonder and awe.

You lose that sense of wonder as you get older. I couldn't help comparing it to Cirque du Sole and prior circus shows. Was this as good? The awesome eventually becomes expected.

About half way through Evelyn fell asleep in my arms. She even slept through people being shot out of a cannon. However, she had missed her afternoon nap, plus she had been given a pain reliever for her injured finger. She awoke long enough to see the tigers, the elephants, and to buy a plastic circus horse, then she feel asleep again.

As we left she began to complain about her belly hurting. Sometime in the night she had a fever that was pushing 104 and started to vomit. We spent most of the night on the phone to the nurse and trying to make her as comfortable as possible until we could get her in to the pediatrician in the morning.

Finally, after a full week--three doctor visits, two shots, and an antibiotic prescription later, she's back to her old self. Even her finger is healed. We took the girls out for hamburgers, ice cream, and playground fun. She was having such a great time, its hard to believe she was so sick.

Now, I try not to be an overly protective parent. A "helicopter parent" as I've heard them called, who hover over their children guarding their every move. I want them to grow and experience and try new things without fear. Without my fears at least.

And I don't want to be dramatic either. A smashed finger and an illness that can be cured in a week are not big deals in the grand scheme of things. Yet tonight, watching my husband and my two daughters playing together I was overcome with the feeling that these three people are my life and really how grateful I am to be watching them play in the park tonight.

Things to Do

In the movie, Big Fish, there is a scene in which Ewan McGregor's character says, "They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And that's true. What they don't tell you is that once time starts again it moves extra fast to catch up."

That's where we are now. It is a wonderful time in our lives, but its going by so fast.

Andre is really great about making the most of every day and I think we probably stay busier than most people. Certainly most people with twin toddlers. Some people may even argue that we should stay home more and get chores done. But this blog entry isn't about what my sister would say, its about all the fun things to do with kids right here in Austin.

Here are just a few suggestions for places to eat and places to go.

There two great places to take kids for burgers. The first is Freddy's Place. They have a nice playground with tables close enough to catch your child if they fall off the slide. Plus, they usually have some pretty good live music.

The other is Phil's Icehouse. They have great burgers, including mini sliders, plus Amy's Ice cream is right next door. Both places open out onto an awesome playground. We took these pictures there.


If you can't agree on what to eat, try south park meadows. Everyone can order something different from one of the several restaurants then enjoy a massive playground. The downside to this is that its so big and there are so many people, you've gotta keep a close eye on the kids (unless they're older).

Or if you want to eat out of the grocery store, you could always try Central Market North. Their playground is well shaded and relaxing for adults.

Parkwise, there are loads of great parks here. Some good spots to take the kiddo's: the fountains at the Liz Carpenter Fountain in Butler Park (by the Long Center). There are flat dancing fountains designed for kids to play on.

Andre loves Barton Springs, which has both a park and playground and snow cones and a train. You can rent canoes too, or just sit and watch the ducks.

I would also recommend our local zoo. Its a small zoo and is actually an animal sanctuary. Next to the enclosures are signs with the animal's story and how they came to the zoo. They have a lion that was confiscated from a drug dealer, another that was a junk yard guard, parrots that have outlived their owners, and even a very large tortoise found on the side of the road.

They currently have the most amazing white, black and red, vulture that is a must see. The girls love the petting zoo and feeding the goats.

My Aunt Robin said, you should try to make memories with your kids, not just spend time with them. Hopefully we're doing a good job.

4th Annual Fishing Trip

I've had a difficult time updating this blog lately. I've been busy sure. But if I'm really honest with myself, the real reason is I've just been sad. It seems like I miss my dad a little more every day.

Even as I write this I can hear him saying, "Life is for the living." The thing about people who repeat themselves is that when they're gone you still remember what they said.

Needless to say, much has happened over the past few weeks. The girls experienced their first beach. Complete with waves, sand, seashells, and...saltwater? No, no saltwater. We took them to Wisconsin on the great lakes, which are so "great" that they have waves and sandy beaches just like the ocean. You almost forget its not the ocean until a duck waddles by.

The girls were initially frightened of the waves. They timidly dipped in a toe, then another one. Legs, then arms, then splashing in the water. Then they decided they should just take off all their clothes and jump in.

They giggled so much, as if the beach and the water and the waves were made just for them. And although I didn't really want them to get completely soaked like that, it didn't seem right to interfere with this first experience that was so joyful. So I let them romp around until they were ready to go and we changed them into dry clothes and shook the sand out of their shoes.

We spent our trip on the peninsula of Wisconsin, in Bailey's Harbor. It is a lush green, vacation spot with cafes, shops, and tourists. It's like a fishing village designed by Pottery Barn. Every storefront is picturesque, sailboats line the harbors, and all the people are in vacation-mode...or at least we were. Even the farms are beautiful, with big red barns, and large white farmhouses.



This was our 4th annual fishing trip with our very good friends. The fishing group had a new member this year, Baby Jocelyn, who is just 6 month old. She is such a great baby and so beautiful. I just wanted to hold her all the time, but anytime I picked the little cutie up the girls started crying. They were so jealous. I guess its no more kids for Andre and I. But give it another year or two and Jocelyn with be their partner in crime, I'm sure.

Of course a fishing trip is not complete without fishing. So we chartered a fishing boat one day. The kids spent the afternoon with Rachel's mom and aunt who drove in to watch them while we were gone. I had never chartered a fishing boat before, so I didn't know what to expect.

One guy drove the boat to the best fishing location, then the other guy put lures on the fishing lines, lowered them into the water with weights--about 12 fishing poles at once. They would watch the lines and when one jerked they'd yell, "FISH ON!" then the next in line would reel the fish in. The guy would unhook it, weigh it, and throw it in a freezer. At the end of the trip he even filleted them. It was more like "reeling," than it was "fishing," which is great in my book. Everyone caught a fish (mostly king salmon), which we brought home with us. We will be eating salmon for the next month.

The girls really enjoyed the trip. We drove there, which truthfully worried me since its a 2 1/2 day trip, but it turned out great. We took long breaks driving on the way, stopping at parks, playscapes, and even an indoor jump castle place. Our new minivan's dvd player was also great. Once there, the girls had tons of toys with them, their big stroller, etc., and we had room to bring back all that salmon we caught. Coming home we spent the 4th of July at my Aunt Ann's house, with my other aunt and uncle, cousins, mom, and grandmother. So it was a good trip all around.

Happy Father's Day

Father's Day 2010 from Leigh on Vimeo.

Joey

I came home Sunday night to find our dog, Joey, laying on the tile in the kitchen. There was something unnatural about the way he was lying on the floor, about the way he didn't jump up to greet me.

He looked the way a person does when they collapse. He was laying in his own urine. His hind legs stretched to one side in a way a dog does not lay. He looked up at me with large, sad eyes. Poor Joey.

He had been laying around more than usual on the days leading up to Sunday night. He had always had hip problems. Just an old arthritic dog, so when I found him that night I thought it had to be his hips.

I called my friend who's a vet and she instructed me to make him comfortable until I could take him into the vet.

That night I cleaned him up as best I could and gently moved him onto his dog bed. With a wet rag I gently wiped his face, his legs, his head. I thought of my dad in the ICU on a ventilator and the time I rubbed his hands with lotion; looking for some way, however minor, to ease the pain. I thought of all the times I had sat next to him petting his head and telling him he was my "baby dog."

Andre came home early in the morning and together we lifted him into the car. The first thing we discovered was that it was not his hips at all. They were, at most, an unrelated problem. It was his abdomen that was causing the real problems. His pale white gums were a sign of a problem with his spleen, but there were other possibilities too. X-rays, blood tests, tick tests, and finally they recommended that we take him to the pet hospital to stay in ICU. Perhaps he had leptospirosis. He was started on intravenous antibiotics immediately, with another dose ordered for 8 hours later.

He seemed to perk up as Andre transported him to the animal hospital. He called me happy and hopeful saying that maybe Joey just needed the antibiotics, that he was doing much better, maybe it would all be okay afterall.

When he called back an hour or so later, I knew by the sound of his voice that his hopes had fallen short. Joey was not going to be okay after all. The vet had tried to draw some fluid from his abdomen and the syringe was nothing but blood. They believe he had a tumor on his spleen that ruptured. He's an old dog for surgery, and besides, the vet said, it is likely to be malignant. There was really nothing we could do.

Andre picked me up to say our goodbyes to our "baby dog." We pet him, and loved on him, and told him how wonderful he had always been, crying the whole time. Andre brought him an Arby's roast beef sandwich with extra cheese. Then the doctor gave him a sedative, then a shot that stopped his heart. And like a clock winding down, he let out one final snore and he was gone.

Freya, our German Shepherd, has been looking for him. Standing at the windows, or just staring blankly in the yard. I know exactly how she feels.

We buried him the next day on our friend's land out in Bastrop.

Joey was such a wonderful dog. He was more human than a lot of humans I know. He was sweet, gentle, and lovable. He would lay his head on your lap, or just lean against you. He was happiest eating and lying in the sun. Everyone who met him, loved him, as did we. He broke the stereotypes for pit bulls and was a breed all his own: a "pig-dog".

Video of Joey

Rosebud

As a child, I remember walking around my grandfather's land looking at the fallen walls of an old house and the place where a chimney once stood. My father would tell me that he had lived in that house when he was young, but it was hard to imagine a time in which the house stood upright. I asked him if a tornado hit it, but, "no, it was just old and fell."

Today, the Salvation Army took a truck load of odds and ends, the last remaining salvageable items from my father's house. Four investors came to look at the house and make offers. His fallen down place.

There is something about losing a parent that has made me feel like my childhood is completely over. I've been an adult for a long time, married with my own children, but there is a finality that I had not experienced before. All the memories that could ever be made are done. That's it. There will be no more new memories of my dad.

All the ones that I have are all the ones that I will ever have. And you hope that you spent enough time together, that you listened well, and asked all the questions you needed to ask--because there's no more answers either.

I walked around this old house while the movie of my childhood played in my mind. I stared at the cracks in the tiled floor and saw myself playing hopscotch across them. The tree house I once climbed in is now a stump in the yard. Everything smaller and insignificant, old and dilapidated. I wanted to explain to the investors that it was once a great place to live, but they don't care. They want a quick, cheap, fixer-upper.

I left the house and went down to the neighborhood park two houses away. The walk there was shorter than I remembered. All the houses in the neighborhood, all those kids I played with have grown and moved away. The fairytale playground equipment has been replaced with giant industrial playscapes, all bright and shiny. Cinderella's coach, the Old Lady in the Shoe's shoe--oh, and Little Miss Muffet's spider--are gone.

The house has been in a steady decline for a long time--years even. I asked him to move here, but "no, he was fine" that sort of thing. But it doesn't matter anyway. He would still be gone even if the house looked as new as the day he bought it. Time passes whether you notice or not.

Everything has changed. Changed places. Changed hands. The land I went to as a child now belongs to me, and one day, (sooner than I want to imagine), it will belong to Rowan and Evelyn.


These are some memories of my dad that I put together:

My Dad from Leigh on Vimeo.

Twins Turn Two

Last Saturday (April 10th) was the twins 2nd birthday. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morn making their cake and about 40 miniature cupcakes. The bottom layer was chocolate, the top was strawberry, and the cupcakes were those two plus white confetti. I made a homemade cream cheese butter cream, which I have to say is my favorite icing. Then I topped the cake with animal figures from the girl's nativity set.

Making the cake was a lot of work, and I could have bought one, but for me it was just one of those things I had to do. For as long as I remember, I imagined making my kids birthday cakes. We had a barnyard theme to go with the petting zoo and pony rides.

At one point Andre asked if the party was for the girls or for me...and honestly its hard to say. I mean, really, who doesn't love baby animals? Even my grandmother loved it. This little baby goat was only a week old and spent the entire time curled up in my grandmother's arms.Fry's Fun Farm supplied the petting zoo, complete with a baby donkey, and calf.

It was a big hit with all the children. The pony rides were only appreciated by the older kids. Evelyn and Rowan wouldn't go anywhere near the pony. They had plenty of other animals though: lots of little bunnies, ducks, chicks, a full grown rooster, and baby goats. They even had a little piglet that would squeal every time someone tried to pick him up. Fry's provided dry food as well so the kids to feed the little animals. At one point Rowan tried to feed Evelyn some.

We had quite a few kids at the party and a nice range of ages too. Andre had the local fire station bring a fire truck and they actually brought a ladder. The fire fighters were so nice, they brought two stuffed bears for the girls. Of course, the older kids were really excited to see a fire truck and get to climb inside.


And arriving just in time to enjoy the party, our friends Viki and Dale flew in from Canada to visit for a week. The girls really love them, as do we. Viki and I have been friends since we went to school together in England--maybe 9 years ago. It is so wonderful to share your life with great friends.




To top it off, our firefighter friend Ax gave the girls three of their very own chickens. "Nugget," "Dumpling," and "Drumstick" are the newest members of our family. They are a breed called silver laced Wyandottes.

Andre is so in love with them. He takes them out of their little cage everyday and lets them play in the yard. The girls like them too and say "my chi-ken," and point to them. Joey (our dog) is also very fond of the chickens and loves to stare at them while licking his lips. Andre keeps telling him, "No Joey, they're family", but I don't think he really cares.

Easter

A lot has been going on lately, but since everyone has to start somewhere, I might as well begin with Easter.

Early Easter morning, Evelyn walked into our room to jump into bed with us. This has been her habit lately, and as she climbed up I told her, "Evelyn, last night the Easter bunny came and he brought you lots of goodies." Her eyes grew big and round and she was smiling ear to ear. I grabbed her basket off the dresser and she immediately began tearing into candy and pulling out plastic eggs. Rowan followed shortly after and we soon had two toddlers pumped up on sugar and chocolate.

Of course, Rowan came in carrying her giant rabbit pinata. They sell them on the street and as we passed by Rowan pointed out the window and said "bunny," so we stopped and bought one. It was suppose to be for both of the girls, but as we set it in the back of the car Rowan quickly began pointing at Evelyn saying "NO," then pointing at the rabbit and saying, "MINE" and this "No-Mine," bit went on until Evelyn appeared to comprehend that the rabbit belonged to Rowan. Evelyn gave her a look that seemed to say, "fine whatever, keep your pinata," and from then on she'd only try to touch it if Rowan wasn't looking.

For the next several days Rowan carried the giant pinata everywhere and insisted on sleeping with it. Of course it took up the majority of her toddler bed, so we'd take it out once she fell asleep. Andre had a terrible time convincing her to go to school without it. We obviously couldn't crack it open--not with Rowan being so attached to it. So she loved on it for weeks, until it was almost losing an ear and I moved it to the garage.

Anyhow, the girls were full of chocolate and marshmallow peeps, so we dressed up and headed to church. It was a typical Easter sermon--rebirth, resurrection, etc. Exactly what one would expect on an Easter Sunday, but it made me really miss my dad for some reason.

After church, and after naps, we went to my sisters to celebrate with the family. We brought over a huge bag of cascarones (confetti filled into the shells of eggs). Typically you crack them on other people's heads, but the girls seem to have more fun cracking them on their own heads.