Growing is hard

I was laying on the floor in front of Evey saying, "you're doing great Evey," and "come on girl you can do it." She's on a blanket on her belly: "tummy time," and her little legs are kicking and she's trying to push up or turn over. Its not working out very well and she's really mad about it. Mad, frustrated, and ready to not be doing "tummy time" anymore, she begins to cry.

Growing is hard. And its easy to forget all the difficulties we ourselves once accomplished. Learning to turn over is just the beginning of many frustrating challenges that lie ahead. Learning to walk, to ride a bike, on up to the first day of school. How scary that was! I remember my first day of Jr. High and being so incredibly nervous. I thought nothing would ever be so traumatizing. Like Evey, I was (at least on the inside) kicking and screaming. Yet, how simple it all was looking back now. Now, having completed many, many, many years of school.

But it never really goes away, does it? There is always another challenge that lies ahead. And though they don't call them "developmental milestones" once you reach a certain age, they are just that. And along with each milestone comes that maddening feeling of doing something you've never done before. Of trying to accomplish something new and scary that is no less as important as being able to roll over, and no less upsetting. There have been so many in my life. Traveling to a new country alone, going to law school, getting married, and most recently, having a baby are just a few that come to mind. Each one bringing its own set of kicking and screaming (sometimes literally).

And so, looking ahead at this year and all the things I so desperately want to accomplish with my career and ultimately my life... Worried about making the transition to private practice and all that that entails, I am no different than my two and half month old daughter. Yes, growing is hard.

I know she will eventually roll over. Then she'll do it all the time and we will have to constantly be on guard that she doesn't roll off of things. One day she'll play with other kids and do things like roll down grassy hills. She won't remember how much she cried trying to learn how. And I know that although difficult, each step we take, each developmental milestone in our lives is worth it. Even when its hard and we want to cry.